About Sandy

Hi! I'm Sandy Myodo Gougis.

I became interested in forgiveness work when the pain to do anything else became unbearable. If I hadn't gotten divorced, I might never have learned to let go.

Like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, I thought I had the issue handled. (It's been a few years, so here's the quote: "You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple of years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled.")

It turned out that I did not have my husband issue settled, and that marriage ended with a bang: an affair, a pregnancy... neither of them mine. And a broken heart. That one was mine.

I went to a support group for divorcees and met people who were still bitter after decades. (Decades!) I knew in that moment that I didn't want to end up like them. I had to make a different choice.

My Best Life

I learned Lovingkindness Meditation. For the first month, I focused solely on myself. I was so wounded, so broken, that I couldn't think of getting past that first step. Eventually, I was able to direct lovingkindness to my ex-husband.

About a year post-divorced, a friend asked me how I was feeling about my ex. "Well," I began, "if he were crossing the street in front of me, I wouldn't change lanes to run him over. But I'm not sure I'd change lanes to avoid him either, though."

Hey, it was progress.

Once on my own, I decided to do what I had wanted to do before I ever met my ex, and I went to law school. A few years after graduation, I met my now-and-forever husband, Michael.

We had a lovely condo in Long Beach, CA, three blocks off the ocean. Happily child-free, we rescued a cat, a rabbit, and two dogs. I had found my spiritual home in Zen Buddhism and was living my best life.

Plot Twist!

On my 48th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Here's the thing about cancer: it's your own cells having gone rogue. My own body had turned against me!

Now I needed to forgive myself for having this life-threatening disease. The clock was ticking, as I didn't know whether I had a full year to let it go, as it had taken with my ex-husband. More than simple Lovingkindness Meditation was going to be required.

It was during my nearly 3-year cancer journey that I planted the seeds of what would become the Stillpoint Forgiveness Practice. Lovingkindness Meditation is still foundational, but that's no longer the only tool in my toolkit.

As soon as I had finished active treatment (multiple surgeries, chemo, and radiation), I tried returning to my job as a college professor. I soon realized that I could no longer stand up for a four-hour class, reach up to write on the white board, or drive the long distance to campus in Los Angeles traffic. My body, including my brain, had permanent changes from treatment, and I had to accept my "new normal."

Profound Way

A number of breast cancer survivors I knew, including a very dear friend, rejected the new normal. "I want the old normal back!" that friend wailed to me on the phone. But there was no going back, only forward.

Once again, I found myself not wanting to be bitter. Choosing to release resentment rather than giving in to lingering anger and the physical stress it produces, I continued to refine my forgiveness process.

I was now a "woman of a certain age" with a three-year gap in my resume. When I couldn't get anyone else to hire me, I hired myself. Since I already had a degree in Psychology, becoming a Certified Life Coach was a simple process.

I set myself up in business as Profound Way - the English meaning of my Korean Buddhist name, Myodo.

The Way of Forgiveness

Before becoming a coach, I was already a Zen Master and had a number of Zen students. When they came to me for help with resentments, I taught them the practices I had followed. Since everyone - Zen students and coaching clients alike - brought different personalities and life experiences to their practice of forgiveness, they needed some tools I hadn't thought of yet!

This was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn from them and their experiences. Together, we looked more closely at the effects of bitterness on the body. We explored how to use the body's energy centers, the chakras, in healing emotional wounds. And I added more options, more tools to the toolkit.

Between my Zen students and coaching clients, I've been able to adjust and improve the process over the years. The Way of Forgiveness has become central to my life and business.

Second Chances

In the time between when I finished active cancer treatment and was healthy enough to work again, I found a wonderful volunteer opportunity with the Prison Library Project, run by the Claremont Forum.

From their website:

For someone behind bars, a book isn't just paper and ink - it’s a way to study for a GED, a tool to learn a new trade, or a quiet escape during a long day.

Every week, we receive over 500 letters from people in more than 400 state and federal prisons and detention centers across the country... We mail out over 30,000 books each year...

I served on the Board of Directors of the Forum for three years, and as President for one of those three.

Click Here to learn more about the Claremont Forum, the PLP, and how you can help.

What My Students

Have to Say

Sandy is a great teacher! She is very organized, open to suggestion, thoughts and personal theories. I learned so much with all the material offered. I loved that she would explain topics with her experience and relatable stories for better understanding. I appreciate her guidance. Personally, I was apprehensive that maybe I didn’t fit. Sandy made me feel valued and understood.

– Paulette Gonzalez

I can honestly say that I have learned much more than I knew and have increased my knowledge base. The course was both informative and challenging. Sandy not only presented a background of Buddhist meditation practices, but also Hindu and yogic traditions. As a secular practitioner, I also appreciated the section on “Neuroscience of Meditation.”

– Alan Wager, MA LMFT

I really wanted to deepen my meditation practice and how I shared it with others. We explored many different kinds of meditations from many perspectives and traditions. I was pushed to expand beyond my comfort zone and was able to deepen my practice and capacity to be able to guide others. I am so grateful to Sandy. She was always prepared and has created a course that is thoughtful and expansive.